Amazing – T Rex Journal entries found!

Beneath are the final entries of a journal uncovered near a Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton…

March 27, 65,000,000 B.C. – It’s been sixteen days since that asteroid hit Brachiosaurus’s place and this Goddamn dust cloud is really pissing me off. Even though we all found that the air is easier to breathe in this big forest, I’ve been eating nothing but acorns for over a week. Last night, Raptor called an emergency session of the neighborhood council, but the only thing that goddamn guy could do was make jokes about the weather. “Hot enough for ya?” Growl. Don’t blame me. I voted Triceratops.

Current Mood: Frustrated!

March 28 – I went down to the tar pit to cool off, but when I showed up I got the cold shoulder. Even Brontosaurus was being all shifty, wouldn’t give me none of that Bronto-booty. Then that retarded Stegosaurus went into the deep end again and almost drowned. I was the first to scream at people to go get help, but when Raptor pulled Stegosaurus out of the tar pit he got all the credit! Screw everyone. I’m serious.

Current Mood: Annoyed!

March 29 – So while I was in my lean-to last night, that Raptor reconvened the neighborhood counsel without me! I couldn’t sleep in all this heat so I trudged over to Brontosaurus’s nest to get some action. Guess what! She was packing! Those sons-of-bitches were going to march south and leave me behind! I’m going to give Raptor a piece of my mind.

Current Mood: Randy!

March 29, later – I ate Raptor, declared myself the new leader of the neighborhood counsel, and demanded that we stay right here in the forest. I regret nothing. I am king of the dinosaurs!

Current Mood: Tyrannical!

March 31 – Much has transpired, little journal of mine. Sorry I haven’t kept you up to date, but for awhile I couldn’t find you. All that time, you were in my jacket pocket. All that time. I’m so sleepy, y’know? Everyone’s gone, journal. A couple of days ago they just left. They said they were sick of me bossing them around, but I said I was sick of them never listening! Now I’m sorry that I yelled. It’s lonely here. I’m sure my handwriting’s atrocious, but I no longer have Stegosaurus here to lick my eyes clean of all the ash. These damn arms are useless.

Current Mood: Somber.

April 2 – The heat and the air are making it hard to stand up, so I’ve taken to lying down. It’s going to be hard for me to get back up, but I’m sure when Brontosaurus comes back she’ll give me a boost.

Current Mood: “Like a lazy Sunday morning”

April 2, later — I never really knew my father.

Current Mood: (left blank)

April 4 – A monkey climbed out of the tree and took a dump on my head. I think it was laughing at me. I couldn’t do anything. What is this world coming to? There’s no discipline. I can’t help but think that the asteroid was really all some giant monkey conspiracy. I hate you, monkey. I really, really do.

Current Mood: Extinct :>(

This is brought to you by Zach Ayers – tune in every Wednesday for a post by him.

[tags]zach ayers t rex journal sad[/tags]