So, here are a few very special ideas for phenomenal tattoos that are guaranteed to impress strangers, friends, and family AND get you fancy jobs!

1) A baked whole chicken tattooed on your back
2) A beard tattooed on your face
3) A green dickie turtleneck tattooed on your neck, you know, those fake turtlenecks that fake to be real!

4) An extra nose tattooed on your face next to your real nose
5) A scar tattooed on your face, like this one…

6) A Band-aid tattooed on your arm
7) A tattoo of a piece of Bologna that appears to be stuck to your back
8 ) Extra arm hair tattoo
9) Turn yourself into a zebra or a cheetah!!
10) Bloody pieces of tissue tattooed on you face, so it looks like you cut yourself all up when you shaved that morning
11) A huge birthmark tattooed on your neck
12) A Hairy mole tattooed on your face
13) Acid Wash Jeans tattooed to fully cover your legs – that would be really intense, cut-off shorts would work here too!
14) Thick rim glasses tattooed on your face – permanerd!
15) A mullet tattooed down the back of your neck
16) Black socks tattooed to your feet, pulled up mid-calf style
17) Dirty white gym socks with a hole in the toe tattooed to your feetsees
18) And lastly, a tattoo of flies on your face

I really hate talking about dreams. I know how it can get super annoying, but this one was all out crazy.

I had the craziest dream about being on the wing of a plane as it was taking off. I went up in the air as it was taking off; somehow, within a few minutes, I found myself in the plane playing euchre with a bunch of old ladies. They kept trying to feed me stale PB&J sandwiches and raisins. I politely refused. I think they got offended or something cause all the sudden they started exhaling all these bizarre colored gases at me – it was like they had color fog machines in their mouths.

The colored gas quickly filled up the cabin, so I hit the ground and gasped for some fresh air. The carpet was thick moss green shag, and I thought it would make more oxygen if I rubbed my face in it. That’s all I remember.

Dreams are weird, and so is the fact that I saw a dog that looked like John Candy on my run this evening. Yes I have seen Spaceballs; but truly, I saw a dog that looked like him.

(recreation)