I’ve been away from my desk for a while; my mom came and visited – we made some collages.
Coming soon – The Human Video Game Experiment. Your vote WILL really make a difference here! Stay Tuned.
To celebrate the coming of this new project – here is a short video of a people launching experiment – CLICK HERE TO WATCH!
I hosted a dinner of various folks with the theme all-american food. Cheetos, meatloaf, jello moulds, hamburger helper, bologna and white bread, among others. I personally didn’t feel so hot afterward and I know a few others were in a similiar position.
more to come… I have to go to my temporary job of picking drunk folks up and driving them home. I arrive on a scooter, fold it up, throw it in their trunk, and drive them and their car home. Take the scooter out, unfold it and ride away to the next call. A good way to make some cash and save lives.
The lobster bibs were a nice touch; look at steve reaching for my crotch (I just noticed that – bad Steve).
Note: The voting has been extended for another week until 12/16!! Keep voting!
In the Human Video Game Experiment you good people will be able to vote me to a location to perform an experiment. For example, this week one can vote me to go to the lovely Los Angeles subway, get on a car, and organize a group portrait of everyone in it, or you can vote me to go down to the infamous Rodeo Drive and offer up free piggyback rides to all the celebrities and the really rich.
So here are the details!! Every week you folks can vote for one of five different experiments; the one with the most votes wins and I will complete it at week’s end. I’ll post a video of the myself attempting the most popular experiment each week, and give you five new experiments to vote on, and on and on it goes until the project gets really weird.
The voting ends each week at 9pm Friday night, and please place your votes in the comments section of this posting or e-mail them to me at email@example.com .
Your votes actually matter here!! Currently, Free Piggyback rides on Rodeo Drive is still in the lead with a solid 26 votes!
Projects to vote on this week:
1 | A Target Store | I’ll decorate your car for the Holidays | VOTES: 13
Description: Tis’ the Season!! I would walk around the parking lot of Target and offer to decorate peoples’ cars for the holidays. I’d use that fake snow spray, tinsel, gaffers tape, candy canes, and more.
2 | A Los Angeles Subway Car | Group Portrait | VOTES: 18
Description: Organize a group portrait of everyone in the subway Car. This will be tricky.
3 | The Grove Mall | Reorganize Your Purse and Wallet Stand | VOTES: 1
Description: I would offer ladies and gentleman the unique opportunity to have a complete stranger, me, reorganize their wallet or purse so it is more manageable and organized.
4 | LA Gun Range | Free Advice Stand | VOTES: 4
Description: Set-up a stand and offer up free advice to anyone who wants it. I really wonder what this is going to be like?
5 | Rodeo Drive | Free Piggyback Rides | VOTES: 26
Description: Offer shoppers free piggyback rides at the famous Rodeo Drive shopping area – this is where all the stars and rich folks shop at stores like Gucci, Prada, Louis Vuitton, Coach, etc.
A big huge thanks to Hak Lonh for shooting and editting this!! Genius!
I spilled some coffee on this picture – oops.
I’ve known my mom for a long time. She and I haven’t really collaborated on many public projects, so it’s about time. She is an incredible woman who has a beautiful way about her, and she is looking to date again. So here is what we would like to do.
Since I get about 25,000 hits a day, we figure that one of you is Mr. Right for my mom, Karen. Furthermore, you good people seem to have good judgment about you.
I’d like to have men that think they have what it takes to date my mom submit a picture of themselves and answer the questionnaire at the bottom of this post. As I receive the submitted profiles I’ll post them here SUITORS. Once it seems appropriate to end the submission process all of YOU WILL BE ABLE TO VOTE ON A DATE FOR MY MOM!
Yes, you could say this smacks of that TV show, Who Wants to Marry My Dad, but really, that show was awful, she’s not a rich white male, and I’m not a cheesy offspring. Plus, he got engaged on the show and then quickly got “un-engaged.” I want this to work out!!! Sleepless in Seattle, maybe? But she doesn’t really look anything like Tom Hanks.
This is a national thing, so if you are not from Sacramento, please don’t be bashful; she would like for you to come and see her or fly her out to visit with you. Personally I’d like to see her take a vacation with someone very special.
So here’s what I have to say about my mom:
She’s incredible, what can I say. She is a strong woman with a clever sense of humor and a very creative brain. She’s active politically (for the left side of course) and has the spirit to carry all of us to World Peace. She’s an unbelievable teacher and mom and if you haven’t met her you’re truly missing out on a wonderful person.
Here’s what she has to say:
My spare time is taken up with reading, writing and listening to blues and jazz. My friends say I’m kind, carefree, and witty. I have two lively African Grey parrots who say complete sentences. I love wolves!
One of my favorite countries is Italy; I love Rome but have not yet been to Florence. I’ve lived and worked in London; Samuel Johnson said, “If you are tired of London, you are tired of life.” I’ve been all over Europe and The US; I dearly miss Paris, it’s the most beautiful city in the world for love!!
I love reading! One of my favorite books is The Red and the Black by Stendhal. I enjoy film almost as much as reading; one of my favorites is Moulin Rouge. I’m up on a few television show, Alias, The Grid, and since I’m a political junkie, CNN, world news, and Jon Stewart of course.
I like to play the piano and sing in choir. I often go bowling and dancing. I thoroughly enjoy a swim in one of our many amazing California lakes, taking a nice long walk, visiting museums, going to concerts, and skiing during the winter.
I love the Sacramento Kings! I have season tickets, so anytime you want to go…
I eat healthy, I don’t smoke or drink, but McDonald’s coffee is my absolute weakness.
My first teaching position was in Bed-Stuy in Brooklyn, NY. Many years later I am presently living in Sacramento and still teaching. I have taught middle, high school and college levels as well as English as a Second Language and art. I believe that we are students and teachers to each other. I really love what I do, it is very rewarding.
At first, I am quiet and reserved. Having lived most my young life in the East may explain my personality better. California has been good to me; I’ve enjoyed this state better than New York, mainly because of the weather, but I sure do miss New Yorkers!
There is so much to see in this world; however, I don’t want to do it alone. Not to say that being alone is lonely; I value my space and independence. Nonetheless, I would like to meet a special person.
I’d like to find a man between 45 and 65 who is honest and faithful. The inner beauty of a person is far more important than anything else. If we have some activities in common, that would be exciting but not crucial. To respect one another’s space and privacy is a must; a control freak is a total turn off. There are so many positive people in the world and a deep connection with one special man is essential. Hopefully, you are out there! Come and see my world and I know you won’t be disappointed.
Oh yeah, I’m 59, a cancer, been married a couple of times, and I consider myself pretty low-maintenance.
Thanks mom! If you think you or someone you know is a good match, please fill out the below questionnaire, attach a recent picture of yourself, and send it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
6) Income (not required)
7) How would you describe yourself?
8) How would others describe you?
9) How do you spend your free time?
10) Do you have any kids?
11) Do you travel? Where have you been? Give us an interesting story.
12) Do you read? Favorite books?
13) Favorite films, actors, directors, moments.
14) Favorite music.
15) Favorite artists.
16) Do you have any pets? Tell us about em.
17) Do you like McDonald’s coffee?
18) What are your favorite dishes?
19) Can you cook any of them?
20) Who are you looking for?
21) Have you been married?
You can answer these in paragraph form if you like. Your picture and finished questionnaire will be posted here at for others to see and vote. Don’t be shy; this is a once in a lifetime chance to be with someone really amazing!
1) I had my 2nd celebrity sighting ever. I was ordering an egg bagel and low and behold, George Constanza was right behind me. I complimented him on his all leather fanny pack.
I didn’t have a camera with me, but I recreated the moment here:
My first celebrity sighting happened at ABC when I ran into the Fonz, Henry Winkler. He told me I looked as if I had come off a time machine. What?
2) Concerning my last post “Vote on a Date for my Mom”: Come on people, let’s get my mom a NICE date. So far in the running, we have an ex-engineer, a guy who shoots porn, a guy from Santa Barbara, an Italian-American who hates questionnaires, and a 35 year old from Turkey. You can read about them here http://www.ineedtostopsoon.com/a_date_for_mom/date_main.html
3) The Human Video Game Experiment will hopefully happen this Sunday – Free Piggyback Rides on Rodeo Drive is in the lead with 39 votes. But you can still make The Subway Group Portrait happen though, it is only 6 votes behind with 33 votes!
4) My very good friend, shooter, editor, and collaborator, Hak Lonh is pretty sick. He has been having spells of vertigo and I worry about him. Say something nice about him to someone and if you like, please send him a get-well e-mail to email@example.com. I’m sure he’d appreciate it!
5) I’ll be showing at the ArtLA with Stephen Cohen Gallery from Jan 19 – 22. ArtLA is an international contemporary art fair, and strangely the only Los Angeles has. If you’d like more info about the fair visit Stephen’s website, http://www.stephencohengallery.com/, it is under Art Fairs in the top main menu.
I’ll be collaborating with a good ole friend, Ryan Mulligan. We’ll be doing a 11 one-hour talk-shows appropriately called The Other Show. Guests include, a girl that can cry on command, a math teach who thinks he’s funny, a crazy inventor, Johnny Appleseed’s great, great, great something -or-other, a creative consultant for an advertising firm, a hypnotist, etc.
If you would like to be on the show or know of anyone who you think would be perfect, please e-mail me, firstname.lastname@example.org. Also, if you’d like to help organize the show or help out in any way please get in touch with me.
We are seeking funding, but I know how it is asking random people from the internet for project seed money, eh; I thought I’d try it anyhow. If you are a company, individual, angel investor, venture capitalist, what have you, and you give money to make the show happen, we will mention your name during commercial breaks and print out a banner with your name, logo, whatever, and hang it up. Get in touch with me if you are interested, 510.872.7326, or email@example.com.
Thanks for tuning in.
Here’s a nice animation of me meeting George Costanza, Jason Alexander, at the bagel shop. This really happened, but the truth is stretched just a tiny bit.
Thanks for your help on everything Mr. Mulligan – braintrust and piecerer togetherer of this amazing animation!
I was trying to do a little shopping for the holidays and low and behold… another celebrity sighting.
I was with my roommate’s friend, Eric (pictured above in the diving costume, it was the only picture he had on him) and we went into a Borders Bookstore at the Grove Mall here in LA. As we were leaving I noticed this book called, “Are Men Necessary?” by Maureen Dowd. What kinda book is that? So, I turned to the first woman I saw and asked her, “Are Men Necessary?,” pointing at the book. She put on her glasses and walked a little closer and what? It was Dr. Ruth!!! Of all the people in the world to ask that question to, I asked Dr. Ruth! She said in that thick and lovely accent, “To women, men are very necessary.” Amen.