CLICK HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO!!!

If you have a fear of death, don’t fear, freeze frame is here. This is a new service I am offering, where I can come and stage a crazy death for you, video tape it, and almost go all the way through with it, but then freeze frame right before your final moment.

When you are feeling down and out, all you gotta do is pop in the dvd and think, “I’ve cheated death, there is so much to live for!!!”

Thelma and Louise did it, you can too! Look at them, forever frozen driving off a cliff.

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO!!!

This project was inspired by a lecture Tom Anderson gave at CalArts.
death

I had a request to post straight links to the videos I’ve posted – no java script stuff.

Here are a select few; click on the link to view and just press the back key to return to the homepage when finished. Enjoy, copy em’ and trade em’ around, send them as early Thanksgiving greetings, birthday gifts, etc. :

Today’s Fortune
Cemetery Golf Seminar for Two Real Estate Agents
Attempting to TP a Palm Tree: Part 1
History’s Mysteries
BOX: Trying to Find Love at an Office Party
Hak the Wizard
Dangerous Creatures: The Claw
Office Basketball: Season One
All Day Dance Party Competition
All Day Dance Party Competition: Follow-up Interviews
A Short Film About Nothing: Containing No Value or Meaning Whatsoever
Grocery Store Rhymes
Coffee Break

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videos comedy art marc horowitz tags are funcoffee office life random everyday humor cardboard box dance party basketball rap short film

We had no problem tping trees where I grew up in Ohio; there were low lying limbs and places to climb, perch, and throw. Palm trees on the other hand are a bit of a challenge – you don’t see too many of them covered in toilet paper, and for a good reason.

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO SEE MY FIRST ATTEMPT

I’ll most likely bring a compound bow next time I attempt this feat; that’ll get the roll up there, but maybe too high?

palmtolietpaper

CLICKY HERE TO SEE TODAY’S FORTUNE (V-I-D-E-O T-I-M-E!)

fortune

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE WHOLE THING UNFOLD – VIDEOTIME!

My roommate Barrett and I were in the middle of developing a few new skits for an upcoming comedy performance when there was a sudden knock on the door.

“Hello?”

Nobody really comes by, it’s just not like that in these parts, especially a stranger.

It turns out it was a couple of realtors interested in neighborhood folks who want to sell their house. We invited them in. According to some rule somewhere, you’re never supposed to invite stranger-realtors into your house, they’ll never leave, but we had no problem hastening their exit.

We all know everyone is an actor in Hollywood, so I asked them if they would like to participate in a few scenes – they of course accepted. After a few warm up skits, they loosened up a bit and were good and ready for my seminar.

Through a quick game of something that resembled pictionary, I tried convincing them that it would be a fantastic idea to put a golf course in a cemetery to raise money for the deceased’s families and the greens keeper. Or it could just be a way to get your mind off of things while visiting the cemetery. Really, it would be a seamless integration, you wouldn’t even have to move any of the tombstones; in fact, fresh graves could be used as holes.

They declined my invitation to a game on Monday, but I’m going to give em a call to see if they REALLY meant that.

Tune in this following week to see if the realtors accept the challenge!!!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE WHOLE THING UNFOLD – VIDEOTIME!

golf

I have some handmade zines in the Affordable Art Fair in NYC this weekend – you can visit their website at www.aafnyc.com or visit the fair at Pier 92, between 52nd & 12th Ave. I’m showing with the famed Yoo Projects again. Enjoy!

p.s. has anyone ever made a lifesize customized cardboard cutout before, say, of themselves or a loved one? Any recommendations on where to go and how much to spend?

art

I went to the Los Angeles River with Kelly the other day. A very bleak place; we entered right off of Firestone Drive, the company responsible for mobilizing LA with the help of John Paul Getty’s money. We walked alongside a machine shop and then across an abandoned railway onto a trestle bridge.

Kelly was there to shoot a documentary on wildlife in the LA River – I was along for support and to finally take a close look at the river, if you can even call it that. Flanked by concrete and dirt walls and kept to a narrow channel in the middle where it was occasionally allowed to fan out in smaller pools, the river fascinatingly flowed rather quickly.

I took a few pictures and noticed, amongst the other debris, a few shopping carts in the river. Upon closer inspection, you could see that the shopping carts had tossed and turned and finally found their final resting positions and somehow managed to form an island behind them, downstream.

Well, Los Angeles, never misses an opportunity to capitalize on something great so I figured why not sell these islands to companies so they can advertise on them. There are a handful of people who walk along the river that would most definitely appreciate these priceless advertisements.

I really don’t think I’ll have any problem convincing companies to buy an island that would serve as an semi-permanent advertising Mecca on the LA river for an extremely marginal cost; the real challenge will be getting out there and wading my across to put up the advertisement. The bottom of the river is slippery with algae and the current is fairly swift.

I’ve devised a full-proof method for which one can stake claim on these islands – pictured below and only executed in the event that someone actually buys one of these precious islands.

I would have two poles, not necessarily as tall as the pictured ones, one on each side of the river with a taught cable connecting them at the top. Each pole would be weighted down and manned so it wouldn’t tip over. I would have another cable attached to a belt which I would wear and then attach the other side to the main cable so it could move across the river and hold me into place in the event of a rogue wave, flash flood, a tragic slip, and just for all around safety. And another cable (not pictured) would be connected to my belt and would be given to one of the people at the pole stations, so they could pull me into shore in the case of an emergency.

Once harnessed in and decked out in full wader gear, I would make my across to the shopping cart island with the company’s advertisement in hand. The advertisement would be made entirely out of wood, say a wood burned advertisement on a wooden post for example, or the sign could be made of sheet metal attached to a wooden post.

When I reach the island I would bury the post in the soft silt and island’s plant life. To secure it, I would tie the post to the cart and have some sort of bottom weight. Once the company advertisement is secure and set on the most visible side of the island, I would make my way back to shore.

And whalah, another opportunity seized.

If you own your own business or run the advertising/ marketing section of a company and want to seize this incredible opportunity, please pick up the phone and dial 5-1-0-8-7-2-7-3-2-6. Price will be determined on the size of your company and the nature of the advertisement.

Operator standing by.

island

CLICK HERE TO WATCH A POINTLESS VIDEO THAT STARS A BROKEN CERAMIC FROG, A PLASTIC ALBINO ALLIGATOR, PART OF AN OVEN MIT, AND THREE GROWN MEN HIDING BEHIND TWO WASHING MACHINES.

Thanks for tuning in.

Upcoming: I will soon attempt what no human has attempted before – float an ice cream sandwich across LA.

Any hot tips on finding a place that’ll deep freeze things?

creepy

Today history will be rewritten!!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE SHORT AND SWEET VIDEO OF ME PUTTING MYSELF ON THE LINE TO PROVE HISTORY INCORRECT!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE FULL VIDEO OF ME PUTTING MYSELF ON THE LINE TO PROVE HISTORY INCORRECT!

(the video is a bit large, so please have patience while it loads; organize things around you, make calls you’ve been meaning to make, cheer on a passerby, reenact a scene from Hamlet – whatever you do, you must see this.)

Thank you to my correspondant in the field Barrett Worland and the valiant Hak Lonh for shooting in such dangerous conditions.

history