i need to stop soon • marc horowitz
Home Ideas Projects Links Press Contact

intss blog

all posts from blogger

September 23, 2008

Introducing: Shin Guard Armor

2

shinguard armor (front view)

I designed Shin Guard Armor for people with a fear of sharp objects.  Comes in a nice contemporary samurai design and can be easily put on and worn throughout the day. Never be scared of sharp object again!!

Also protects against certain bug bites, flying objects, stray punches and kicks, prickly plants, and unseen objects you may bump into in the dark. Available in white only.

shinguard armor (front and rear views)

(from the ineedtostopsoon.com archives)

Posted by email from marc horowitz’s posterous

Filed under intss blog by Marc Horowitz on Sep 23rd, 2008. 2 Comments. #

September 22, 2008

Sports Hands! – A New & Fun Place to Take a Date

0

sports_hands_logo

Don’t know what to do on that first or second date? Let Sports Hands! help!!!

Sports Hands! is a new and fun place to take a date!!!  Upon your arrival, you and your date would sit down with a hand analyzer professional.  He would closely look at both your and your date’s hands. Then, he would quickly run through some hand equations and finally recommend a mutual sport for you and your date based on both of your hand types!

He would supply you with the necessary equipment for your mutual sport and send you both on your “Sports Hands!” date. 

If you would like a professional trainer to accompany you on your date, that can be arranged for a minimal fee.

Here are some examples of recent clients that went on to date many many more times:

Sports Hands! clients - shuffleboard

Him – long, hairless, complex, and pasty hands
Her – dainty, peach fuzz on the lower phalanges, slightly distressed, but strong and comfortable hands
Their sport: Shuffleboard

Sports Hands! clients - speed walking

Him – very dark hands, wiry black hair only on the knuckles, super wide, well manicures fingernails
Him – soft hands with a callous on the right pointer finger
Their sport: Speed walking

Sports Hands! clients - word board games – boggle and scrabble

Him – severely chapped
Her – delicate, all knowing, somewhat dexterous, strong willed hands
Their sport: Word board games – boggle and scrabble

E-mail us at sportshands at ineedtostopsoon dot com for more information on locations and bookings!

Posted by email from marc horowitz’s posterous

Filed under intss blog by Marc Horowitz on Sep 22nd, 2008. Comment. #

September 18, 2008

Experts

1

Why does the word expert have an “ex” in it?  That cant be good.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want an “ex” anything working on my car, heart, shoe, etc…

But what is an expert? Is he a former pert?  WTF is a pert? Shampoo? So are all experts former shampoos?  This blows my mind!  Good luck out there people.

Posted by email from marc horowitz’s posterous

Filed under intss blog by Marc Horowitz on Sep 18th, 2008. 1 Comment. #

September 17, 2008

New TCFIL Question!

0

click here and go answer today’s question, i promise this is a legit link and what you don’t do or pay attention to can kill you, so I highly suggest you do this

Posted by email from marc horowitz’s posterous

Tags: "daily question", "improved living", 004 The Center For Improved Living, better, bigger, LIFE, living, marc horowitz, question, stronger, tcfil.

Filed under 004 The Center For Improved Living, intss blog by Marc Horowitz on Sep 17th, 2008. Comment. #

September 16, 2008

Giant Hand to Solve LA’s Traffic Problems

0

hand_accident

LOS ANGELES, Wednesday – After years and years of Research & Development in an underground Stanford laboratory, scientists have finally unveiled what has been hailed as “the best” solution for the ever-growing Los Angeles traffic problem: “The Not-So-Invisible Giant Hand,” or simply, “Big Hand.”

Over 200 years after Adam Smith’s economic theory of an “Invisible Hand,” Governor Schwarzenegger’s traffic theory of a “Not-So-Invisible Hand” is finally realized, bringing past and present together once again.

“The time was right,” Schwarzenegger proclaimed. “After all, these hands have something we want – a firm grip on traffic control. And we also as well have also something that they want – cars. Who are we to keep these big hands from their desires?”

Scientists describe the Big Hand propulsion system as “A combination of an advanced sub-atomic jet and good ol’ fashioned black magic.” This supernatural speed allows the Big Hands to arrive at the scene of an accident up to 3,501 times faster than law enforcement, tow trucks, or emergency services. The Big Hands are also equipped with a 360-degree digital camera and were given temporary CPR licenses.

When asked if the Big Hands would be given the ability to administer mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, one scientist replied, “That’d just be weird.”

Seventy-five “Not-So-Invisible Giant Hands” were deployed today in Los Angeles. Witnesses on I-5 describe the Big Hands as “really Goddamn scary giant hands.” This morning, one car’s highway collision with a guardrail served as the first Big Hands traffic assistance.

The driver, 75-year-old Max Melmo, describes the scene:

“I was just resting my head on the airbag when a Big Hand peeled back my roof and carried me away in its fist. Once I arrived at the impound lot, several hours had passed and there was snow on the ground. When I asked where I was, the Big Hand stuck out its middle finger and flew away. It turns out this was definitely not the right impound lot and, to make matters worse, I believe the Big Hand stole my wallet. I have the strange feeling that soon these Big Hands will put us under their thumbs and will destroy the human race.”

The Los Angeles Police Department is looking into these accusations.

Giant HandNuke Magazine - Endurance Issue - Giant Hand article

Posted by email from marc horowitz’s posterous

Tags: big hand, Governor Schwarzenegger, invisible, los angeles, marc horowitz, old people, problems, ridiculuos, scary, solution, solved, traffic.

Filed under 001 Imagination, intss blog by Marc Horowitz on Sep 16th, 2008. Comment. #

How Bout a Burrito at My Favorite Place?

0

This is one of the first social projects I documented.  I’ve never dragged it out until now.

For this project, “How Bout a Burrito at My Favorite Place?,” I posted an ad on craigslist.org asking people to join me for a burrito at my favorite taco truck in Oakland, CA. We met up at a specified time and ordered together. After ordering, I took a picture of my meal date with their food. We then ate together, discussing whatever. When we finished, I took a photo of their “burrito sculpture,” (a.k.a their trash).

It’s nice to see a person, take into account what they do and who they are, and then see how they fidget with thier leftover food and trash eventually completing a sculpture.

Peter Leonard – Collage Artist and Graphic Designer

How Bout a Burrito at My Favorite Place? - Peter Leonard : Graphic Designer

Bruce Bortin – Activist

How Bout a Burrito at My Favorite Place? - Bruce Bortin : Activist

Joe Guzman- Photographer

How Bout a Burrito at My Favorite Place? - Joe Guzman : Photographer

Rene & Chris – Students

How Bout a Burrito at My Favorite Place? - Rene & Chris : students

I had to put this project to an end because I received over 900 requests and I ate burritos 2-3 times a day which made me really fat.

Posted by email from marc horowitz’s posterous

Tags: "graphic designer", "taco truck", art, burrito, burritto, california, conceptual, eat, eating, marc horowitz, oakland, photographer, project, sculpture, sfai, work.

Filed under 001 Imagination, intss blog by Marc Horowitz on Sep 16th, 2008. Comment. #

How to make a ship in a bottle and win people over

0

How to make a ship in a bottle

Live the dream and make yourself a ship in a bottle!

1) get two plastic bottles and cut them in half (arrowhead 1 liter are the best)

2) draw and color your ship on both sides

3) tape or glue your ship horizontally on one of the cut bottle bottoms

4) merge the other bottle bottom with the one you just adhered the ship to

5) glue or tape the bottle bottoms together

6) take a bottle top and make a stand for your ship in a bottle by placing the wide side down and adhering the drinking hole part to the bottom of your ship in a bottle.

You probably don’t need instructions to do this, but I can’t imagine a craft project without instructions. Make a ship in a bottle and post it to the flickr group “Ship in a Bottle” – www.flickr.com/groups/shipinabottle/

By doing this, you’ll most likely win someone over.

Posted by email from marc horowitz’s posterous

Tags: "arts & crafts", "rainy day", "school projects", activity, adults, arts, bottle, crafts, diy, flickr group, fun, how to, kids, make, marc horowitz, plastic, project, recycle, reuse, sculpture, ship.

Filed under 001 Imagination, intss blog by Marc Horowitz on Sep 16th, 2008. Comment. #

September 15, 2008

Bad Library Prank Leads to Good Parking Ticket Prank!

0

frozen library book

I froze my overdue library book before returning it, cause the library froze my account due to previous late return fees. They charged for the whole book saying it was ruined. I tried arguing that I was doing them a favor by preserving it like they did Walt Disney. They didn’t find it amusing.

I don’t suggest you do this prank on your public library, but… next time you pay a parking ticket, freeze your check, put it on some dry ice, put it in a little styrofoam container, and send it in.  That’ll show em… sort of.

Posted by email from marc horowitz’s posterous

Tags: bible, book, cryogenics, frozen, guttenburg, library, parking ticket, prank, styrofoam.

Filed under 021 The Library Prank, intss blog by Marc Horowitz on Sep 15th, 2008. Comment. #

September 12, 2008

Wanna be in a magazine article?

0

Paris based Nuke Magazine has asked me to contribute to their upcoming edition, themed chance. 

Rather than write a boring article or take more pointless photos, I thought I’d ask you guys a question about chance on TCFIL site and then publish your answers.

To participate and be published in a magazine in Paris (which WILL make your freinds jealous) visit http://thecenterforimprovedliving.blogspot.com/2008/09/question-305.html and answer the question. 

Thanks for participating!

m     a

r       c

Posted by email from marc horowitz’s posterous

Filed under intss blog by Marc Horowitz on Sep 12th, 2008. Comment. #

The Final Episode of the Signature Series!!!

1

My Trip across America is Complete!!! Tune in for the last episode! A game show involving a 9 foot tall ice pyramid with a briefcase frozen inside, a water chugging competition between two 9 year olds, and a crazed girl throwing mayonnaise. This is not to be missed!

From Crackle: Signature Series Finale: Wilmington, NC

 

Posted by email from marc horowitz’s posterous

Tags: america, competiton, crackle.com. horowitz, game show, girl, ice sculpture, marc horowitz, mayonnaise, north carolina, signature series, travel, wilmington.

Filed under 040 Signature Series, intss blog by Marc Horowitz on Sep 12th, 2008. 1 Comment. #

« Previous ... 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... Next »

Sign up for the e-mail newsletter, it’s only like 3 a year:






Archives

  • November 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • January 2007
  • December 2006
  • November 2006
  • October 2006
  • September 2006
  • August 2006
  • July 2006
  • June 2006
  • May 2006
  • April 2006
  • March 2006
  • February 2006
  • January 2006
  • December 2005
  • November 2005
  • October 2005
  • September 2005
  • August 2005
  • July 2005
  • June 2005
  • May 2005
  • April 2005
  • March 2005
  • February 2005
  • January 2005
  • December 2004
  • November 2004
  • October 2004
  • September 2004
  • August 2004
  • July 2004
  • June 2004
  • May 2004
  • April 2004
  • March 2004
  • February 2004
  • January 2004
  • November 2003
  • October 2003
  • July 2003
  • December 2002
  • January 2002
  • August 2001
  • June 2001
  • March 2001
  • February 2001

Tags

AIR airlines america art buddies continental crackle.com cross country death driving entertainment fun google maps greenville hayward gallery horowitz LIFE london los angeles love man marc marc horowitz me & you show meandyou movie music orbitz peter baldes price project question right road trip santa cruz series sfai signature solution south carolina toilet travel virtual wrong www.googlemapsroadtrip.com
Home Contact Ideas Links Press Projects
Copyright i need to stop soon, 2023
Made with an easy to use WordPress theme • Classy, Citrus skin by Denis de Bernardy