May 24, 2005

Sculpture Party (in your home)

This is just a small example of what my collaborator Jon Brumit and I can bring to YOUR living room. We carefully created this VCR Tape Sandwich between two opposing walls using no support other than the naturally occurring pressure between each tape.

Based on this photo, we were able to sell a few of these “sculpture parties” through a local gallery; one to Sean Penn and his wife, the other to the Birkhahn Family, and one to my mom (who is now my biggest collector).

The idea is that Jon and I come to your home and we brainstorm with you to figure out your sculptural needs and desires; we then set to work using only materials you have in your home to create a sculpture with you. From permanent outdoor sculptures to temporary indoor installations, we can do it all!

This past weekend, we visited the Birkhahn family and created a magnificent outdoor sculpture using some old things they wanted to get rid of. Actually, it was only one old thing, a ladder given to Mrs. Birkhahn by her father.

Jon and I buried it upside down. They absolutely loved its “simplicity and elegance.” Their neighbor among others came by for a peek, and I think we may be doing a sculpture party at his home soon.

If you are interested in this unique service please contact me and we can work something out.

Filed under 027 Start a Museum in Your Home, intss blog by Marc Horowitz.

Well even though I was on time with my taxes this year, I underestimated the power of the “return for postage” that the USPS exercises from time to time.

What a bummer – only 69 cents short; Hopefully I’ll have better luck in 2006.

Filed under intss blog by Marc Horowitz.

May 18, 2005

The Frozen Library

Mainly a frozen library refers to frozen blood, virus specimens, or animals; but who says books aren’t worthy of being frozen? What a wonderful way to preserve the Guttenburg Bible.

I need to patened this technique… and fast. Just think Book Cryogenics!

Filed under 021 The Library Prank, intss blog by Marc Horowitz.

May 16, 2005

Free Advice in Sky Londa

Sky Londa
Population 501
Located in the Santa Cruz Mountains, CA

Every sunny California weekend at the corner of CA 84 and CA 35 bikers, yuppies, townies, and tourists converge. Either for a famed burger at Alice’s restaurant, a couple of beers from the corner mart, or to show off their cars, motorcycles, engines, gadgets, leather, what have you. Many take the opportunity to embrace their high testosterone levels by revving their engines, poppin’ wheelies, or peeling out. I came to give some good ol’ fashion face-to-face free advice.

My beautiful lady friend Julia came up to help with the advice-giving extravaganza. She helped make the “free advice” signs and was ready to drop 30 years of knowledge in the face of advice seekers.

We advertised our advice services by placing our hand drawn signs on telephone poles on Hwy 35 and Hwy 84. I’m not sure they really worked, but they looked beautiful. Imagine driving up a curvy mountainous road, ready to show off or grab a bite, and you see a sign that just says “FREE ADVICE,” not knowing where, when, or why.

I’d love to have overheard some of the conversations that occurred in people’s cars as they saw our advertisements.

“Free Advice, did you see that?”
“Yeah, what the hell?”
“Mmm, wonder what that’s all about?”
“Probly one of those mountain hippie types trying to sell some sort of powdered vitamin formula.”

I parked my RV on a very prominent high traffic corner, posted a few signs on the RV, set-up a table and chairs, and was ready for some serious advice giving.

I think the pink balloons really helped the whole process.

My first visitor wasn’t actually a visitor but was more of an admirer at a safe distance – across the street, behind a hedge, and surrounded by his friends. I decided to go to him. Thinking this would probably break the ice for the rest of the onlookers.

I asked if he needed any free advice. He replied, “Well…let me think…yeah. What advice do you have for me?”

I asked him a series of questions, “What’s going on in your life? Do you have a partner? Do you have money problems?”

That was the question, “Yes, I don’t have much money, how can I make a quick buck?” he queried.

I told him to start his own advice station next to ours, charge $2 a pop, and call it “Better Advice.” That elicited a chin scratch, a hearty laugh, and a “mmmm… maybe I will do that.”

I eagerly waited, but my competition never came to fruition.

Next a gentleman crossed the street and asked us what he should do about his daughters. He pointed to them across the street seated in his parked convertible.

“My one daughter, who is ready to turn 14 isn’t hungry and wants to go home. She’s at that rebellious age you know. My other two younger daughters want to eat and go hiking. I wanna make them all happy and spend the rest of the day together. What should I do?”

As he was wrapping up his question, his children joined us and put in their two cents. A lot of information was floating around and this became a tough question for me. As kindergarten teacher and one who is skilled in the fine art of “dealing with children,” Julia had the answer. She suggested they order some to-go food at Alice’s and walk down to the nearby lake and eat. After that they could all go home.

It worked – sort of. The two younger ones got wrapped up in drawing and didn’t want to leave. The older man ended up leaving with the eldest left his other two behind. He actually left his kids with us – amazing! We suggested they go with their dad. After a few sighs they ran along.

Next.

A few bikers came over for some advice. The one (pictured top) was having a little dilemma, “Should I leave California, where I’ve spent my whole life, and move to Olympia, Washington?” he asked.

After a series of back and forth Q&A’s, the answer was definitely “yes” as long as he was able to convince his wife and daughter.

It was hoppin’ now. Lots of folks were just curious and wanted to say hi, others didn’t know what to ask, some congratulated us, and others just pretended to ignore the whole thing. From what a man should do about his upcoming court case to what to do about a bad case of sunburn, we advised.

A jeep pulled up and without even getting out they shouted, “We need some advice.”

We walked over to the car and peeked our heads in, “yes.”

“We were just wondering why it is so hard, with so many single people in the Bay Area, to really connect and find a partner.”

Collectively we decided that it really isn’t easy to intimately connect with people. Folks change jobs more frequently these days, they move more often, they prefer computer love over face-to-face, and actively avoid chance encounters. Additionally, since the cost of living is so high in the Bay Area relative to the mean income, people have to work more jobs. That can wear a person down.

They eventually got out of their car and chatted with us for quite some time. The gentleman, Karsten, e-mailed me once he got home and said he really liked the project and enjoyed the open exchange of ideas.

It is fascinating how people will open themselves up to a total stranger. You should try this project in your hometown. Make a couple signs and go to the mall, or a busy parking lot, or in front of a convenient store – someplace with traffic – and give out some free advice. It is really rewarding.

I guess we, the readers and writer of this blog, could do some advice swapping using the comment portion of this blog. Post your question and others can post back a reply. Just a thought.

Anyhow, here’s a picture of Julia during some downtime at the advice station.

As a side note, today I found out that I’m officially broke. My bank account almost conversely matches the population of Sky Londa, – $ 517 and my credit card is maxed out. I’m really in the red, and this is a bit of a dilemma. I guess I need some advice – what should I do for money while simultaneously continuing the dinner tour?

Thanks in advance.

Filed under 009 Free Advice, intss blog by Marc Horowitz.

May 13, 2005

Soft Burden

And there you have it… one more reason to cover yourself in shaving cream and blow it off with a vacuum in reverse-suck mode.

Don’t you just feel a slight urge to come home one evening looking like the swamp thing stuck in a blizzard?

Filed under 019 Soft Burden, intss blog by Marc Horowitz.

May 10, 2005

The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson

I just got invited to be on the The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson! This is very exciting news over here at the National Dinner Tour Headquarters/ my RV.

Keep an eye out on Friday, June 17th!!

Any suggestions on what I should do on the show?

Filed under 002 National Dinner Tour, Events, intss blog by Marc Horowitz.

Who needs to visit the museum anymore when you can have one of your very own… and enjoy it without leaving the comforts of your home. Save your money! With this easy and free technique, you can build your own personal “Home Museum” in minutes.

Pick out a “dead” space, or a “lively” one for that matter, in your home and put some of your things on display. These can be things that are important to you, things you’re attracted to because of their color, or just a hodge-podge of things you’d like to see together. It’s completely up to you!

I’ve chosen a series of three shelves that were very underused. On the top shelf, I placed a fancy hot water warmer behind a Krispy-Kreme doughnut box.

The second tier is a bit more exciting, sporting a Reddi-Wip can atop a homemade pedestal and a corn chip on the opposing pedestal. You can easily make these beautiful pedestals by wrapping plain white paper around a tupperwear container. Then you can do as I did by setting some everyday objects from around the house on top of them. These “plain” objects now take on a regal look that make a bold statement.

To dress the third tier, I just threw a couple of strange items together for a vintage effect.

It’s that easy and now you’re competing with some of the most renown contemporary artists around – Jeff Koons, Tom Sachs, Robert Gober to name a few.

Rotate your exhibit whenever you like by just changing out some or all of the items. You can also draw some more attention to your exhibit by tacking a sign and a balloon to the wall beside it.

Have an opening party and invite over some of your neighbors!

If you decide to start a “Home Museum, “please mail me your photos and I’ll post them – click here to e-mail me.

Who really needs Martha Stewart anyhow?

Filed under 027 Start a Museum in Your Home, intss blog by Marc Horowitz.

Dinner at Djerassi

I’m still up in the hills filling my month long obligation to the Djerassi artist-in-residence program.

Every night at 7pm all of us artists sit down to share some words and a nice meal. Our conversation topics tend to be very dynamic. Last night’s discussion revolved around IQ testing. After some time, we reached a consensus that the standardized IQ test is dated and a new formula needs to be instituted.

We propose a two-part examination – 25 consecutive games of the age-old game of Simon followed by 25 games of Dance Dance Revolution (this could also serve as part of the presidential fitness test for high school students). The test taker’s mean score would represent their IQ level. Alternatives will be made for the physically challenged.

If you have some free time today or would like to procrastinate, you should play a few games of Simon. Please visit fetchfido’s site.

And if you have no idea what Dance Dance Revolution is, you can gain some valuable insight at DDR Freak. I have a horrible fear of dancing directly in front of people; I would hope the IQ test would be issued in private or at least in front of a two way mirror so it would appear like nobody is there.

Filed under 002 National Dinner Tour, intss blog by Marc Horowitz.

May 9, 2005

Need some inspiration?

A friend of mine started this new blog at www.procurate.com . It is a newly formed forum for the expulsion and creation of ideas – whatever they may be. Check it out.

Here’s a quick idea – Everytime you purchase something this week, accept the bag they give you. Don’t throw it away – keep all your newly acquired bags in a safe place. At the end of week, throw ‘em all in a pile and take a photo.

It’s amazing how many bags one can come by in a seven day period.

Filed under Amazing Finds, intss blog by Marc Horowitz.

May 8, 2005

Jon the beekeeper and the RV show

My friend Jon took a break from his San Francisco bee-keeping experiment to visit me in the hills for a show I was having in my RV. He ended up guzzling a dozen or so beers while I was preparing for the show. Inebriated as hell by midday, he felt the strong urge to put on his best cashmere sweater, take his pants off, and run through the tall grasses and thistles in his underwear.

Here he is taking a little breather.

It was kind of scary; I had no idea he wore bikini briefs.

Despite Jon’s fashion show, my RV show happened with much success. Seven artists of completely different backgrounds each to give separate performance inside the RV. It started with a bang when a traditional composer, HK, played an original score on a Casio tone-bank keyboard I found at the San Francisco dump. A few keys don’t work; she counted them as silences.

It swiftly moved to an improvisational dance routine performed by Meg. The music was none else but the heavy metal group Mastodon!

It was brought back down to earth with some poetry, prose, and…

yoga in the galley.

Afterward, I made some fajitas for everyone. I’ve never done this before, but they were quite tasty.

I’ll post some video once I’m off this dial-up connection.

You should try having a show in your car, van, truck, RV, boat, or even your office. I think a show in either a mini cooper or in the breakroom at work would be quite exceptional. I would love to see some pictures of your show.

Filed under 001 Imagination, intss blog by Marc Horowitz.
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